Humankind is the pinnacle of evolutionary advantage. We have conquered the planet, we have mapped the stars, we have trapped electricity in a global network of wires to create a virtual universe. The incredible intelligence of us mere mortals has put us in the realm of the gods! But we are mortal. And we fart. These pesky, weak horcruxes that our souls are bound to still make odors and fluids and poop. How can we stand with our divine counterparts in the boardroom at the peak of Olympus with sweaty armpits? We are stuck as puppets to our foul bodies. And just like Pinocchio longs to cut his strings, we strive to plug all our holes, starting with the very smallest: the pores. Clean up with Veronique and Mat as we disguise our animal scent with micro-metals in an easy, glide-on Speed Stick of Deodorant!
*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.
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